Capacity to Surrender

Your capacity to surrender
to the experience,
to the unknown - and just see what comes up?

At the surface defence and ambivalence.

The deeper I go the more painful and freaky I become.
Art making is a space to process the stuff.
I scramble for equilibrium and calm between the bouts of pain and freakdom.
To reflect and assimilate?
Do you desire to surrender to experience?
Do you even know what this means?
Or how to do it?

It's not a light switch you can just turn on.

What mental states underpin your behaviour and mine?
Why it's just fear
...and a desire to belong...my dear.